I thought I was so ready for this college nonesense to be over. I thougtht I couldn’t wait to get as far away from this place as possible, but here I sit at 3am unable to sleep. I lie in my bed staring at nearly blank walls thinking, “This is is. It’s already over.”
And the tears! Holy Moses the crying just never ends! I don’t know if this is normal for other people, but it certainly isn’t for me! Yeah, I get sappy, but I’m always able to recover with a joke or something.
Today I read a story of The Roommate’s that was published in the CMU Literary Magazine, Inscape. The story was a creative non-fiction about her and her cousins. She wrote about how she felt when her oldest cousin got engaged and how, as she and her other cousin also got engaged and the three got married, she had this sad feeling that their adventures together were over. I sat at the front desk of the library, on the clock no less, just weeping, because I felt/feel the same about The Roommate that she felt/feels about her cousins.
Oh boy, here we go. Tears.
My first memory of The Roommate is from August 12, 2007. She was a new member of the women’s show choir at my high school and we were at Choreography Camp. I had only been attend the last few hours of the camp, because my family had been at Gen Con. After camp was over and we stood outside the PAC entrance of the high school, we had our very first conversation. Low and behold, she knew what Gen Con was and wanted to actually talk about the nerdy things I was interested in. I instantly knew that my life was forever changed.
Six years have passed and I cannot believe the impact this young woman has had on my life. She was the first person my age that I had ever met who was into things like DnD and RPGs. She called her cousins “sister-cousins.” Well she is my sister-friend. She is the Sinister to my Dexter and now I fear that our adventures together have come to an end. At her wedding in December, I felt a mixture of devestation and happiness. The feeling I’m experiencing now is a thousand times more complex. She said today that she thinks she’s forgotten how to live without me. Well, the same is true of me. No, we didn’t live together this year, but she was still very close and easily accessible. In August she will embark on a brand new teaching career… And I will move to the East Coast.
There are many people from my four years at Central that I will miss so very much, but there are less than a handful that I truly believe my life would be lesser without. She is at the top of that list. The grandest adventure we ever took together was coming to college at CMU and everything that entailed. We have experienced so much bad, but far more good during our time here. She has helped me through more than even she knows. I’ve been so lucky to have had her.
Sinister, I do not want this to be the end of our story. I want to have more grand adventures. You won’t be by my side when I move in to my new dorm and you won’t be there to run your fingers through my hair when a guy breaks my heart, but you will always be with me, no matter how far.
And yes, it’s so very true. I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better, but I HAVE been changed for good.
I love you, Sin.