So Here’s The Thing…
…I feel REALLY lonely. I should be totally excited for my senior year, and there are certain aspects that I certainly am excited for, but the last two days have not been at all like the first days of school of yore.
The Nerdmate and I are not the friends that he said we would try to be. He won’t look at me, let alone speak to me. I finally got a few words out of him, but only because I marched right up to him and gave him no other option.
I’m in a single room, which I was totally excited for until I had to be moved to the first floor of another building because of my leg injury. Now I’m not only alone in my room, but I don’t know anyone on my floor. The girl next door seems sweet, she helped me move some furniture today(it wasn’t going so well on crutches); the girl across the hall seems nice enough, but today she asked me if I knew The Nerdmate, that got awkward very quickly.
I am surrounded by all these people, but I can’t really interact with them as I normally would for a variety of reasons( the biggest being my leg). I want someone to hold me and tell me it’s going to be ok. I want a shoulder to lay my head on until I feel like I’m ready to face my problems. I want someone to hold hands with and to give a quick kiss to between classes. I want someone to love me again.
Here I had thought that I had found Prince Charming, but he was just another toad.
I do not want this fall to be like fall 2010, the semester of the disastrous meltdown between WK and I. I have been perfectly ok with the break-up these last few weeks, life was great. I DO NOT want to go back to that dark place I was after WK. I will do anything to avoid it.