The life of a not so average girl doing not so average things.

Archive for July, 2012

One Liners

This last week was spent in the beautiful Rocky Mountains in the small town of Grand Lake. Our first day there we led a game where everyone writes one line in a poem. The trick is you can only see the line of the person immediately before you. An additional fun thing about these poems, they were written on cards with random characters’ names on the back that had been used for a different game. These will be used as the titles, but don’t necessarily have anything to do with the poem. Enjoy our work. 🙂


Once upon a midnight dream.
I woke up to find my sister puking on me.
So I killed her with a teddy bear.
When the sun came up.
The boy yelled, “Hey, pup!”
And the dog answered, “Hello, sir.”
The man in the yellow hat ran
Straight into a fan.
And the meat flew
All over her face.
It’s such a disgrace
Yet she will make it through.

“Ronald McDonald”
There once was a homosexual leopard
And he had a human pet
Who walked on all fours.
Sleep, sleep snore.
Beep, beep, alarm.
Sleepy eyes awake
As they stare at a pancake.
The waffles attack
By breaking felines’ backs!
The bells began to ring.

“Smokey the Bear”
There once was a bear in the woods
Who just couldn’t take it anymore
So he took out the marmalade
And he put it on his sister’s face
Under her chin and above her nostrils.
Words formed slow sentences
Whispered into listening ears.
A loving word hear
From the mother of a nerd
Came a dub stepping droid
After he at the beaver’s thyroid.

The sun-soaked acreage
Scorned by zombies
Trying to eat the man’s brian
Was a blood sucking eel
Right off the fishing reel
Came a Northerner.

“Crazy Horse”
It always rains at 2pm
Before the sun closes in.
The birds go to rest
After a day filled with incest.
They all went to rest
At the bottom of the pond.
So, so cold.
The wet and bleak weather soaks the skin
But the fire warms the soul
Like a hot soup bowl.

“Miss Piggy”
The ferns grew in the misty haze.
On a lazy fall day
The children don’t play.
Unattended at night
The baby at the bloody frog.
Then he violently threw it up
For his stomach was weak
Until he grew that wicked beak
Which split his face in a wicked grin.
The axe lands again.

“Severus Snape”
Toenail clippings on the floor
Hair stuck in the drain
Causes so much pain
That you can’t stay in the game
Because it always ends in a fantastic civil war
They had a tea party
Dressed in their Sunday best
Beans and Rice
Are all it takes to feel full

The chipmunk at the pretzel
From between his tiny paws.
There lied something.
It was bathing in lobster bisque soup!
And then came the salt
To soak all the wounds
In the blood of the lamb.
I have no idea.

*Captain Planet”
There once was a man named Captain Planet
He sailed the ocean blue
And thought of those he knew.
Those with tear stained cheeks
Are all but a distant memory
In this crazy game of life
There’s only one winner.
His wings fell off
And he lost his chance to enter heaven
Where the werewolves flock.
Two all beef patties, special sauce, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.