*By the Beatles. One of the few songs I actually really like by them. Don’t tell mi padre. Haha!
Things are better. Or getting there anyway. I had an emotional breakdown yesterday. It was pretty ugly, I broke up with the Nerdmate. Luckily, he is a better lover than myself and didn’t really accept that as an option. I did some soul cleansing and some crying and today is going much better.
A huge part of my problem is this: I don’t want to have to rely on meds to be happy for the rest of my life. I hate that that may be what’s necessary to function as a normal human being. I’ve never wanted anything more than to be normal. I got to college and thought that I had found a place where I could be normal, I seemed normal. For a while anyway. I hate being an emotional roller coaster. I’m going to have to learn to live with the meds, I guess, because I can’t keep making myself and the people around me so miserable. That just makes me feel even worse.
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Growing up is really freakin’ hard! Trying to grow up as a responsible, functioning, positive member of society is even more difficult. Bear with me, people, there are more mistakes around the corner. Lol.