The life of a not so average girl doing not so average things.

Blue Lips, Blue Viens, Blue The Color Of Our Planet From Far, Far Away

Well, yesterday did not go quite as planned.

I was so excited to see the Bestie and Peanut and then I was even more excited because we were going to Parkville to see our mutual friend, SecurityMan, after the Girl Scout dinner.

We were having a pretty good time just hanging out at his out, and watched a tremendous display of stupidity at Mickey D’s which was pretty funny, except I was hanging out with the kid while the other two cuddled and did all sorts of cute things. This would normally not be a problem for me, but apparently I’m super hormonal and especially moody about the whole “romance” scene.

I don’t want anything to do with it. I don’t want to see it, hear about it, or witness it in any other way really. I’m pretty sure I’m becoming a hateful cynic about it all, but I’m not sure how to fix it. I’m tired of my heart getting broken. I’m even more tired of putting myself out there and my reward being embarrassment and rejection.

I just wanted a care-free night with people that I love dearly. Instead I became a babysitter. Don’t get me wrong, I love Peanut and I’m perfectly willing to babysit at anytime. But next time, just leave me at home with the little guy. I wouldn’t have been in the way and it would have just been all around better for everyone.



2 responses

  1. Bestie

    I’m an ass. I love you Kay and I’m sorry I hurt you. Punch me next time and tell me to stop it.

    November 15, 2010 at 00:54

  2. Yep. It’s hard to watch when you’re hurting. I wish it were otherwise. All I can offer is the hope, a genuine one that truly exists, that while it seems bleak right now, the future will be better.

    November 15, 2010 at 08:08

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