I’d like to dedicate this post to my 9 year old brother. I miss that kid to pieces. I’ve been thinking about him a lot the past couple of days. I think part of it is that my choir concert is tomorrow and Dad is coming up for it. I haven’t said anything, but I really hope BabyBro comes too. I know he would probably get restless during the concert, but I want to see him. And I want him to see me, I want that kid to be proud of me. I know it’s weird, but out of everyone, I most want him to be proud of me. I want him to have great stories to tell people about his big sister.
I know both of my sister’s will utterly disagree with me on this point, but I think I’m secretly his favorite. BigSis especially is going to have something to say about that. Haha.
What I miss most is when I would watch him when no one else was home and we’d watch movies. He’d help me make macaroni and cheese or we’d bake cookies, he likes helping me cook, and then we’d lay down on the couch together and watch a movie. Usually Lion King, because it’s my favorite, or one of the Star Wars, because those are his favorites. Sometimes we’d mix it up, but those were the regulars. If he wasn’t asleep by the end of the movie, I’d make him get ready for bed, crawl up in my parent’s bed, and read. He’s a really great reader. Such a smart little man.
I have a lot of fond memories of that kid. He tries to impress me, I think, with his fantastic taste in music. I think it’s because Dad and I actually have a lot of the same favorites. Styx are BabyBro’s favorite. He REALLY loves Reliant K, too. I think that is because I was on a huge RK kick for a couple years. He’s always asking me to make him mix CDs and such. It’s really quite adorable. He knows the words to most songs on the radio in almost every genre. It’s fantastic really.
He was so proud of himself when he did the Junior Hillside Camp this fall. He called to tell me all about it, he was especially fond of his leader who happens to be a good friend of mine. I can’t wait until he gets to high school and gets to see what BEING in showchoir is like, not just having sisters that are obsessed.
Anyway, I hope he’s here tomorrow. I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high. I know that part of the reason I wrote this post about BabyBro is because I’m a little heart sick this evening. One of my very best friends lives in L.A. Recently we’ve told each other things that no one else really knows about us. He and I used to have a blast together in high school. We put so many miles on that Oldsmobile. Tonight he told me how much he appreciates my friendship and it made me realize how much I wish he was here. Fayette would be so much more fun with him by my side.
There’s also this other guy… I haven’t mentioned him before.The thing is, I’ve been trying to slowly make my mark, show him how great I am. I thought maybe I could make him believe it even if I don’t always believe it myself. I guess it didn’t work, he’s shown his interest in another girl. I could deal with that better, I think, if she weren’t someone I liked so much. If she weren’t so great, I wouldn’t have to think about all the things that I lack, all the reasons why she’s better.
I don’t have to worry about that with Mr. Myles. He’s always going to love me exactly the way I am.