Cathedral Bells Were Tolling…*
*And our hearts sang on. I’ll be seeing you in all the old familiar places that this heart of mine embraces.
Papa, my neighbor, was a dear old man that was kind of like a grandfather to me and the other kids on my block. He passed away this morning. My friend, J, called me about 4pm this afternoon with the news. She and LittleSis are good friends, apparently LittleSis wasn’t doing so great with the news. The worst part was having to deliver the news to another neighbor, Lo. Her brother already knew, thank goodness. I couldn’t have done it twice…
When we moved in to my parents’ current home, LittleSis and Papa’s granddaughter became good friends. The granddaughter lives with Papa and Mema, because of tough family situations. Papa also has three beautiful grandkids by way of SonM. One of them is a boy that is just older than BabyBro, they became the best of friends. Needless to say, his passing hit us as if he really was our own grandfather.
This weekend is KC Game Fair, and to get their minds of it for a couple of hours my parents took the kids and Papa’s grandson. I’m glad for them, but it left me feeling alone and naked to the cruelty of life. There, together, they can provide a unified front. Here, I feel exposed.
I know my Fraternity sisters are here to help me through this kind of thing, but it doesn’t feel right. They didn’t know Papa, they can’t fully comprehend my grief. I feel broken. It has been such a difficult week and we have a concert on Sunday. Did I mention that I’m in all three ensembles that are performing? Also, the A Capella Choir sings in worship at 10am that morning.
I cried tonight in Jazz Choir. We’ve had the discussion on me and public crying, it just isn’t normal. We were singing I’ll Be Seeing You and as much as I tried to keep control of the situation, the tears leaked from my eyes whether I wanted them to or not.
Please pray. For my family, for Papa’s family, and for our other neighbors. It’s going to be a rough time coping, but that’s what we have to do, right? Cope.