The life of a not so average girl doing not so average things.

Home Sweet Dorm Room

Yesterday was quite eventful. I went and saw Dr. G. We talked about what’s been going on with my mood swings and what we think the cause is. She made several suggestions about what the cause might be and I told her I didn’t think anyone think could be blamed. I almost thought she was going to tell me to not return to Fayette. There are a lot of contributing factors to this illness, yes, we can officially call it that. I’ve been put on birth control to help regulate my hormones. I had lab work done yesterday to see if anything was amiss, I won’t know for a couple of days probably. Dr. G also wants me to see a psychiatrist and be put on anti-depressants.

This scares me. More than I can vocalize and I can’t explain why. There is a fear of becoming a zombie, which the Bestie promptly attempted to dispel. I fear that this will get worse until I am nothing but the depression. I fear a lot of things. For a very long time fear has ruled the majority of my actions in life. I have decided that it isn’t going to any longer, unless I am cripplingly scared, fear will not stop me.

If I sometimes don’t seem like myself, or if I do things out of the ordinary for me, please bear with me. I’m fighting an uphill battle.

In other very good news: I saw Aunt Cindy yesterday! She was really looking more herself. She has retained good color in her face, no more of the scary waxy look. She was talking and laughing with us the whole time. She is recovering at an incredible rate and rumor has it that she could be released in the next few days. You can tell she is unhappy about being in a hospital, but that’s Aunt Cindy for you. I think she is also very upset about missing B’s wedding. I hope we can find a way to make it up to her.

Thank you for all the prayers and good thoughts on behalf of my aunt. You guys are awesome.

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