The life of a not so average girl doing not so average things.

And Now For Something Exactly The Same

I don’t have words.

Actually, that’s a lie. I don’t want to lie to you, but I also can’t say to you the things that I really want, no, need to say.

I’ve always been able to “fake it” really well. I don’t want you to know that I’m hurting, that I’m weak.

I don’t even have the desire to do that anymore. I don’t have the will to do it anymore.

I don’t seem to have the will to do anything anymore.

I don’t know why I’m so unhappy and I surely don’t know how to fix it.

I just want to make it stop.

I was finally able to write out some of my thoughts and feelings about whatever it is that’s happening to me. And do you know what happened? It got sent to my drafts folder, because I just can’t bear the thought of any of you knowing how incredibly weak I have become. I’m sorry that I’m unable to be totally honest with you at this time, I hope that someday I will be able to.

-Kay

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2 responses

  1. Nope, weak is noot beiing able to admit it. You are human and as such, it is impossible to to do everything all the time. You are allowed to grieve and feel whatever you are feeling. I love you Kay.

    September 20, 2010 at 23:08

    • Perfectionism is at the top of my “Not My Strongest Points” list. Thanks for loving me anyway. I love you too, Bestie.

      September 20, 2010 at 23:45

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