The life of a not so average girl doing not so average things.

Our First Home Football Game

I spent the day cleaning, something my room has been needing. It was you’re average Saturday. This evening I learned something new: Football games make me miss WhiteKnight. Worst yet, we lost. At least I got to talk to WK. I have mixed feelings about the conversation, but at least we’re interacting. This is good.

I also talked to The Bestie. She’s dealing with some pretty serious stuff on her end as well. I’m really proud of how far she has come over the last couple of years. She’s grown and matured a lot and has an ever growing list of responsibilities that she handles just splendidly. She makes me look like a joke.

This has been a recent issue on my part. Everyone else is making great headway in life, while I flounder like an idiot. I have made a mess of myself. I’m struggling to maintain a friendship with WK when what I really want is for him to hold me in his arms and tell me everything is going to work out. To avoid thoughts such as these I have driven myself even harder to keep up in classes, carry my part in my three ensembles, and help with the play. I’m trying and trying and trying and not getting anywhere.

I guess I need to try harder, that’s what I’ve been told for years.



2 responses

  1. My Knight and I had some seriously rocky times. And I spent a good few years just “screwing it all up”.

    Looking back from the other side, however, I’ve learned that sometimes you have to screw it all up in order to figure out who you are and what you need to make you, well, you. You’re young. Everyone goes through this. I chose my mid to late twenties and it took me FOUR years to actually get this thing with my Knight right.

    Sometimes you have to start with forgiving yourself. The rest will fall into place.

    September 12, 2010 at 23:13

  2. Thanks, Jill.
    May I call you Jill?
    I hope it doesn’t take me four years to figure out what the heck I’m doing, but it just might. I’m not all that brilliant when it comes to relationships. You give me hope. You’re awesome.

    September 13, 2010 at 03:27

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